


Random Conversations with The Avengers

by AwkwardBlueKitty



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-13
Updated: 2012-06-16
Packaged: 2017-11-07 15:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/432497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardBlueKitty/pseuds/AwkwardBlueKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like what the titles says, just random little conversations between the Avengers. One-on-one conversations about random stuff or not so random stuff. TonyxSteve, Clint&Thor, Clint&Bruce, Steve&Natasha, Natasha&Pepper, Tony&Phil, etc. So yeah...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I might add another chapter because I just realized I totally forgot to add Phil and Fury.....and maybe Logan and Peter in the random conversations that go on in the Avenger's mansion. lol

**_TonyxSteve_ **

“Hey, what would you do if I cheated on you, Steve?”

“I’ll probably sleep with all of the Avengers. I’m sure most of them wouldn’t mind.”

“What?! You wouldn’t fucking do that to me!” Tony thinks he’s going to have a heart attack or something. His Steve can’t sleep with anyone else but him!

“The probability of me sleeping with all of the Avengers is the same as you cheating on me, Tony. It’s never going to happen.”

“But in my past…I wasn’t, well, I was a whore.”

“I trust you. Besides” Steve moves closer to Tony “once you go Steve Rogers, you don’t go back.”  
“You know, you have a really good point there. You pretty much ruined everyone else for me. Hell, you made me gay for you and only for you” Tony smirks and settles his hands on the other man’s hips.

“I know that’s why I’m taking reasonability for it.”

 

**_Clint &Steve_ **

“Hey Cap, can I ask you a question? And this question doesn’t count.”

“Sure Clint.”

“What if you and Tony weren’t dating?”

“Hm, I don’t know. It’s kinda of hard to picture me without Tony by my side.”

“Cap, you gave me a cavity!”

Steve merely chuckles in response.

“But seriously? Have you ever imagined dating some chick name, I don’t know, Crystal and getting married with her and like having three kids with her all named names like Christopher, Claire, and Conner. And for the heck of it, a dog name Cosmo.”

Steve decides to ignore the fact that his ‘wife’, ‘children’, and ‘dog’ all start with a ‘C’. Looking at Clint, he says “You know I think I like the name Cosmo for a dog.”

“I know, right!”

“I’m imagining Cosmo is golden retriever?”

“Yup, can’t picture you with anything else.”

“I think I would really like that. I wonder if I can talk Tony into getting a dog…”

“Oh please, just give Tony a blowjob and he’ll buy you a shit load of golden retrievers for you.”

 

**_Thor &Clint_ **

“Ah, Clint!”

“What’s up, big man?”

“Up? Hm, I do not kn-”

“I mean, what is it that you need?”

“Oh, yes! Well, I was wondering if you’re going to the store.”

Looking at the blond, Clint slowly says “No, I’m not going to the store. Why you ask?”

“I ran out of my poptarts.”

“O-okay.”

“My friend! It is not ‘okay’! My box is empty like my stomach!”

“If you’re hungry Thor, just eat a sandwich or something.”

“But my stomach does not want a sandwich or something! It would like poptarts!”

Blinking and then sighing, Clint gets up from the sofa. “Alright, alright I’ll be back in fifteen minutes or so. Just…just behave or go bug Tony. Actually Thor, I want you to go and send some time with Tony while I’m getting your poptarts, okay? That way it’s a win-win situation for us!”

“Me spending time with Tony is a win-win situation for you, my friend? If this is the case, then I shall spend time with Tony! Let me go find the man of iron!”

“I think I just find another use for poptarts besides eating them. Awesome!”

 

**_Bruce &Tony_ **

“So, do they drag you out of your lab too?” Bruce says as he takes a sit next to an annoyed Tony.

“No, they fucking manhandled me out of my lab which by the way is located in my own home!”

“…Steve manhandled you? I can’t picture Steve doing that.”

“Oh, he didn’t. Well, he kinda of did because he ordered Thor to ‘save me’ from starving to death.”

“It must be really nice to have a caring boyfriend who doesn’t want his boyfriend to starve to death.”

“Ah, don’t get jealous Bruce!”

“Oh, I’m not because I have an awesome friend who’s worried about me starving to death. He even offered to bring me a sandwich and some soup to my lab but I decided to eat out here instead.”

“…is this ‘awesome friend’ happen to be called Steve?”

“Yup.”

 “Hm…why wasn’t I offered a sandwich and soup in my lab? And I don’t mean to brag but caring boyfriend triumphs awesome friend.”

“I don’t know why. Maybe he just wanted you out of your lab for some fresh air. I would argue with you over that last statement but…I’m hungry.”

“I’m hungry too. Where is he?”

 

**_Bruce &Clint_ **

“Hey, Bruce-man!”

“Hello, Clint.”

“I’m on my way to get some pizzas. Did you want anything?”

“Um…actually, I do want something. You think you can get me some Buffalo wings?”

When Clint doesn’t answer him, just looks at him a weird look, Bruce says “Oh, sorry. If it’s too much trouble, just forget about them then.”

“What? No, it’s not that. It’s just I never would have pegged you for eating Buffalo wings.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, for a second I thought you were going to say you wanted a salad or something.”

“Just because I can turn green doesn’t mean I eat green food too, Clint.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s okay. It was meant to be a joke.”

“Oh…so, um, Buffalo wings?”

“Yeah, like I said if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Sure, no problem. I’ll be back in a bit” Clint starts to walk toward the front door.

“Clint!” Bruce calls out.

“Yeah?”

“Can you ask them if they can make the Buffalo wings green?”

Clint scrunches his face for a second before he starts barking with laughter which makes Bruce smile.

 

**_Natasha &Steve_ **

“Oh, I like what you did with you hair, Natasha.”

“Hm?”

“Your hair, you got a trim and you got, I don’t know the correct term, but got it, um, layered?”

Blinking as she removes the pot of boiling water, she says “Thank you, Steve. I felt like doing something…different with my hair.”

“Well, it’s very nice.”

Natasha nods her head. “Can you get me two mugs, that is, if you wouldn’t mind some tea?”

“Sure” Steve moves to get two mugs from the cabinet.

After a few minutes, they settle down at the table with their mug of tea and some cookies Steve grabbed on his way. It’s a comfortable silence for both of them before a little chime indicates someone got a text message.

“Oh, that’s Tony” Steve happily says as he grabs his phone from his pocket. After reading the message, Steve types back a response with a silly grin on his face.

“You seem…happy with him.”

“I am” Steve says while looking directly into Natasha’s eyes.

“So I don’t have to kill him? Shame.”

Laughing, Steve replies with “Not unless you’re willing to kill me too. I go where Tony goes.”

“I was contemplating adding some honey to my tea but thanks to you, I got something much sweeter.”

“You’re welcome.”

 

**_Thor &Tony_ **

“How many poptarts do you eat in a day, Thor?”

“Hm, I do not know my friend! My I ask why?”

“Just curious is all.”

“You are a very curious person, Tony.”

“Yup, especially when it involves Steve, I am very curious.”

“Ah! Your beloved Steven! How is he by the way?”

“Oh, he’s doing fine. Wait, didn’t you see him like yesterday when he asked you to manhandle me?”

“Manhandle?”

“Yeah, when you picked me up and threw me over your shoulder like a sad, smelly bag of potatoes.”

“Aw, yes! However I did it for Steve! He was truly worried over your wellbeing, my friend. You are…very lucky to have someone like Steven by your side. I hope you realize this.”

Tony stares into Thor’s eyes and sees how the other man is serious. “Trust me…I know how lucky I am, Thor. Every day when I wake up and see Steve’s face, I count my lucky stars at least seventeen times.”

Nodding his head at his friend’s words, Thor happily declares “I trust you, my friend! So all is good then, this makes me happy!”

“Good, good we’re all happy then!” Tony laughs.

“By the way, my friend, I eat around 48 poptarts. In one box there are 8 packets which in one packet contain 2 so there is a total of 16 poptarts in a box and since I eat three boxes, the total is 48 poptarts!”

“Wh-what? When did you learn to do multiplication?” Tony quickly adds “Not that I am insulting you or anything.”

“My brother, Loki, taught me! The idea of having an idiot, oaf of a brother gave him shivers so he taught me some things to where now I am an oaf of a brother to him! My brother is kind, no?”

“Um…yeah, sure…he’s awesome…”

“Yes! He is very awesome indeed!”


	2. Part 2

**Tony &Phil**

“Just the person I’m looking for!”

“How may I help you, Tony?”

“I’m wondering if you’ll be interested in…”

“I sincerely hope you’re not trying to ask me out on a date, Mr. Stark.”

Making a gagging noise in the back of his throat, Tony replies “Fuck no! Sorry Coulson but you are not my cup of tea. Only Steve is my cup of tea…with some honey drizzle on top of his ridiculously hot abs and-”

“I, unfortunately, get the picture, Tony. Can I ask what you ordinarily want to ask me?”

“Huh? Oh, I’m wondering if you’ll like to move in with us at the Avenger’s tower. Steve thinks it’s a good idea so yeah…”

Coulson stares at Tony who rolls his eyes. “I…appreciate the offer but”

“Phil, did I also mention that it’s Steve who brought it up first? He wants you to live there with all of us because he sees you as part of the team and the team needs all its players.”

Blinking out of complete shock at the fact his childhood hero wants him to live under the same roof as him as well as sees him as one of them…an Avenger. Steve practically wants Coulson to live in cloud nine.

“Yeah, you think about it so when Steve asks you later on today, you’ll have an actually answer and won’t just stand there looking…well, looking like you’re looking now. Later” and with that, Tony whistles off down a hallway.

Coulson is still too stun to stop Tony and ask him what type of face Steve made when he brought up the idea of him living there with all of them. What is Coulson thinking about?  He needs to go pack his things and be ready when Steve asks!

 

**Natasha &Pepper?**

“You need a vacation.”

Looking up from her papers, Pepper gives Natasha a confusing look.

“You need a vacation. If you like I can also have a…nice chant with Tony.”

Softly laughing, Pepper shakes her head. “Thank you but you don’t have to do that. I can schedule vacation time for myself without Tony’s consent. Actually, just the other day when I was having lunch with him and Steve, he suggested I should take some time off.”

“Oh, and why don’t you?”

Shyly looking back down at her papers, Pepper softly mumbles “I…I was waiting to have dinner with you to discuss my vacation and see if you would possible like to…” Pepper doesn’t finish her sentence.

Natasha blinks before she smiles at the other redhead. She walks around the desk to lean on it. “I think dinner sounds lovely. Around what time were you thinking?”

“Um, I was thinking around seven?” Checking her watch, Pepper adds, “Which is in an hour…”

“Perfect. Well, let me make a few phone calls and I’ll be here to pick you up. Sound good?”

Blushing slightly, Pepper says “Yes, it sounds wonderful.” 

Natasha nods her head and starts to walk out of Pepper’s office. Once she’s out, she grabs her phone and sends a ‘thank you’ text to Steve who mentioned this morning about how he’s worried about Pepper overworking herself. Redhead need to stick together.  

 

**TonyxSteve**

“Hey Tony?”

“Hm? What babe?”

“I heard something very interesting the other day…”

“Oh, can I safely assume it has something to do with me considering whatever you heard is very interesting?”

“You’re so modest, Tony.”

“I know.”

Grinning at his boyfriend, Steve shyly asks “Is it true you count your lucky stars every morning at least seventeen times?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…and the next time you see Thor, send him my way will you?”

“I think it’s romantic that you do that especially while looking at my face when you do.”

“Is that why you’re down here, to pick on me? Want me to braid my hair so you can pull on it too?”

Softy chuckling, Steve walks over to Tony and runs his fingertips through Tony’s hair. “I’m not here to pull your pigtails, Tony. I just want you to know I think it’s really sweet of you to say that to Thor.”

“Well, I suck your dick which I think is sweet and romantic considering I’ve never sucked a dick before you. But you never gush about that.”

“T-Tony!”

“What? You know it’s true. Counting lucky stars and sucking dick are one in the same, babe.”

“So you want me to tell you how sweet you are when you finish…finish…”

“Sucking your dick? Actually, that should be more my line considering how sweet you taste in my mouth.”

Steve could only blush and look away from Tony’s smirking face. He briefly wonders if he’ll ever get away with successfully teasing Tony. He somehow highly doubts it.

“I think I have somewhere else, um, to be…” Steve tries to back away but Tony isn’t having it.

“Babe, we’re talking about blowjobs here and you want to leave?”

“Yes” Steve whispers but leans into Tony.

“Sorry but I’m feeling a bit romantic over here.”   

 

**ThorxLoki**

“Why do you continue to help those mortals, Thor?”

“Because they are my friends, brother! Would you not help a friend if they are in need of it?”

Loki opening looks at Thor.

“Ah, brother, surely you have warmed yourself up to them? Are they not your friends as well?”

Rolling his eyes and snorting, Loki retorts “You cannot be serious, Thor. The only one amongst your friends who I find remotely pleasant is the one call Steven Rogers.”

“Ah, Steven! He is a remarkable mortal, is he not?”

“Hm…is he still dating that other mortal known as Stark?”

“Yes, I do believe so. They are quite happy with each other. Why do you ask, brother?”

“For no reason, Thor, just simply curious is all.”

Thor stares at his brother for a moment before he grins. “Ah, brother, are you interested in Steven?”

“I love how you accuse me of desiring someone else with a smile on your face.”

“Brother, I cannot blame you if you do. I must admit that I, too, admire Steven as well” Thor says thoughtfully. “However, it does not compare to what I feel for you, my dear Loki.”

Secretly smiling, Loki twirls a lock of Thor’s hair between his long, slim fingers. “Of course not, you shall only love me, Thor” and Loki tightens his fingers around Thor’s hair. 

“Aye, only you, brother. Only you I give my heart to.”

 

**Fury &Steve**

“Steve, may I have a word with you?”

“Of course, Nick, what can I help you with?”

“In a minute, I want this discussion to be between you and me.”

“Alright” Steve says as he watches the agents leave the room. Once the last agent is out, Steve turns to look at Fury.

“Now Steve, I am aware that you are dating Tony Stark.”

Steve nods his head with a light blush.

“And I’m not going to ask for any details on what goes on between you two once the doors close or don’t close.”

Steve nods his head again but with a darker shade of pink across his cheeks.

“What you two do is your business. Not anyone else’s.”

“O-okay.”

“With that being said, please tell that damn Stark to stop leaving hickeys where others can see them. We do not need to know Stark likes to role-play leech and victim or whatever it’s called nowadays.”

Blushing a furious blush, Steve brings his hands to his neck to try and cover up any possible hickeys he may have.  

“Word of advice, either say ‘no’ or cover them up.”

“I’ll…I’ll be sure to cover them up, sir. I apologize, I did not kno-”

“It’s fine, Cap. Besides I blame more Tony then you. Actually, I put all my blame on him” Fury stares at Steve for a moment before he adds “Turtlenecks can do wonders for you, Rogers. Why do you think I always wear them? ”

Steve really, really does not want to answer because that means he has to think about it which he does not want to do.


End file.
